Lauren and I went walking this week. After a period of silence, during which I was talking, we stopped to climb a tree. Up on our branch, she asked me why I do not make greater efforts in promoting the work of the Poets. I replied that I made what I considered to be significant efforts in their interest. She asked me: “What?” I waved my hands, generally, about my body and said: “This!”
Mercifully, she did not press upon me to further explain my gesture, or I might have fallen from the tree.
In today’s world of half-measures, you deserve more than half-poets, and half-women.
Introducing Lauren Galmington: she’s all woman, and her poems go right to the end.
You wouldn’t go hunting with half a gun! So keep your feet out of those mukluks till you’ve read Lauren Galmington.
It’s all her.
'Gou'
Mirror shining on my heart.
Kindest teeth, and golden feelings,
Easing me apart.
Gentlest meet you ever met.
If there's such a thing as man,
I haven't seen it yet.
If you can't be long, be sacred,
If you cannot be a stone.
- L.G.
'Sandra Cope'
As Shakespeare said,
You reap what you sow.
Well, needles make me shiver.
I once got a hole in my sock, so
I did just as my mother showed me
Curling up my toe to tuck
Beneath the one adjacent as
I rode the cart electric
To buy socks.
Do not judge me.
God helps those who help themselves,
They say. Well, that's the worldly view.
But I am Sandra Cope, and
I never stole a thing.
Mine's the God of Kids TV,
Cherub in the sun,
Sparkle in the rain,
All-good, all-benevolent
To everyone - I mean to say,
God loves the lazy, otherwise
They would not be made that way.
As Einstein said,
The world's a stage
That some were born to work upon,
While some were born to watch.
I am called to shirk, with popcorn.
Thank-you! Thank-you! You're the best, as
Tina Turner said, than the rest.
Rest is best, fat is fun,
Blessed are the weak,
I sing as by, and by I squeak.
If your back goes snap
(We all have our cross to bear)
You'll be in my prayers - that's
The least that I can do.
Even so, are there times
I wish I could do more?
Sure, sure. Alas, for lack of will
In utero, I am unable.
Please believe that I have tried:
Once, I went to work -
The devil made me do it! - there's
No way I'm washing those old feet...
What I mean to say is
We all bring something to the table.
I provide the ass, you shall bring the bridle.
I am Sandra Cope and I
Believe God loves the idle.
- L.G.
These are unprecedented times.
Some days you don’t even know what blue is, let alone a blueberry. When your burdens outweigh your balloons, try Matt Black.
He who knows darkness, knows Black!
Aargh!
Feel better? No, you don’t. It’s not drugs, or sex, or both, you know. But one glance at the poems of Matt Black, and you’ll say: “Looks like I’m not the only one.”
Don’t be blue. Be Black.
'Whatever Did Possess You?'
As the masses crossed their crosses
As some hoped, and some prayed...
He was here, now he's gone.
A smooth transition, having cast
Too much of himself away, already.
There is much in life to fear,
But for the likes of we, who go
One foot before the other, on -
Are we there yet? Are we there yet? -
Death is no great mystery.
What you see is what you get.
He was here, now he's gone.
- M.B.
'New Bike Feeling'
Or, perhaps, the Earth
Just knows the time is right.
When one pushes on the Earth
The Earth pushes, too
Upon the sole with equal force.
In terms of relativity,
Therefore, it's as fair to say
Earth pushes one away, then,
As to say one moves
The Earth beneath.
She jumps into the air.
That New Bike Feeling; one,
In terms of relativity,
To which we all relate.
Her new bike is black,
With 'Mongoose' in pink writing,
And a front suspension fork
Grip-shift gears, and disc brake.
We stand outside to watch.
Pedal up, and a push,
And off she goes! Turn, turn...
Turns the world around.
- M.B.
The world. A banana. A hat. Arvin Reyes.
Like blows of a hammer of sunshine in the mitts of a great god, the words, and worlds of Reyes come raining down.
We’ve all got a banana on our head. Will you be drinking a smoothie?
A painting of a duck. The eardrum. Soup. Arvin Reyes.
'A Tree!'
Wordlessly, we stood,
Several of us, you could say,
Beneath the tree that rose a sprout
Formed a branch, a bud, and grew
None among us brave enough
To declare: "A tree!"
Having stood so long; the desert land
So dry, the cracks so deep,
Nothing good, and green, it seemed
Could ever come again.
- A.R.
'Something To See'
Then there was a man who could turn flies
back into maggots.
Then appeared, on the bluff-side, in full-
color of the highest definition, an impression,
photographic, of his face
with a thick, black cross before it, so the
horizontal - if you like, the arms - obscured
his eyes, and
the vertical extended, from between, and
above them on the forehead, down, across
the nose, covering the mouth.
God, who made the sun, made this. He called
it:
'Jesusface'
"Where rest his feet, so must your lips.
Where his hands are facing, open, so your
eyes must be.
Where his head is at, with its thoughts, so
shall be yours.
We'll not worry about the nose..."
No-one really noticed it. God said: "That's
okay."
His Tinder profile read:
I will never ask you to allow me to put any
part of me
up your ass.
It was simple, so-much-so that the site was
blown to bits.
Then there was a man who could turn
ostriches to eggs. That was
Something else to see.
- A.R.
Hi, poets and poets-fans! Jim, here, and I’m here to tell you about Adam Waverley, the Poetry Doctor. Sure, there’ve been a few poets over the years, but this one does what no other can: heals.
That’s right. Every Waverley Word comes packed with a hundred hyphens of healing power! And that’s not all; Waverley’s Words are absolutely guaranteed to make at least some sense, or your money back!
I’m so convinced your life will be markedly altered by this product, I’m willing to make you a special offer. Simply stick one poem in one or both eyes today, and we’ll throw in not none, but one more poem absolutely free! Just pay handling. That’s twice the healing power for half the price of both!
Don’t just take my word for it! Hundreds of celebrities have benefitted from the good Doctor’s poetry prescriptions, including:
- Li’l Kim
- Li’l Wayne
- Big Wayne
- Kanye
- Li’l P
- Li’l Wee
- Li’l ZZ Top
- Enormous Johnson
…and not just rappers!
- Sandra Bullock
…and many more!
I didn’t used to walk this stylishly. I was all over the sidewalk, until I found Doctor Waverleys poetry. Waverley’s Words changed me. You can too. All you gotta do is call the Doc!
'Far From Home' The blinded cannot see The truth, and so the travesty. Let us build a wall! Under which our kind may crawl. Now you see them fall, Do you believe in gravity? The is is what it is - no more. The dead are just detritus. A fire is just a flame. The flood's A drop. My middle name is Mud! Now you taste the blood, Do you believe in gingivitis? -A.W. 'Cars' Cars: I do not care. I want a car Without a name - no 'Ka', Or 'Wunderkar', 'Cascadia', Or anything like that. I want a car that's inexpensive, Built-to-last, at least until The loan is all paid off, and With excellent gas mileage. I've paid enough already, and I hate gas, and gas stations - all that Jerky, all those beef sticks, Packet pickles, onion rings Dirty coffee, retail-chain tie-in Reward-schemes, all that gas. Terrible-tasting things. Engine purring like a cat... Nay thanks - don't need that plastic wrap. I have a cat already, and It doesn't need horsepowers - It's a cat. It is smart. A proper work of art. You could drop it from a high-rise, It'd walk away, like: "Yeah, so what?" Horses break on blacktop. Some folks fall in love with cars. It hasn't happened for me, yet. I doubt it ever will. I never pored a bead of sweat, Apple, apples, pots and kettles, Over options which. I got one 'cause I got to. I don't care what color just As long as it's not colorful. I want it to be warm, to work, Clean, efficient, kind to the Environment to show I care - Not for cars; what cars are for. - A.W
Last week’s jet-ski giveaway was a complete bust, adding a grand total of zero new followers to the site. Fortunately, shortly after posting I realized I’d much prefer to have five-hundred brand-new new jet-skis than five-hundred brand-new followers. Knowing that I possess five-hundred brand-new jet-skis fills me with a sense of power and ownership that is at once profound, and supremely galvanizing. Further, it has led me to understand certain truths about myself:
I like to be surrounded by five-hundred jet-skis. I am most fulfilled when surrounded by five-hundred jet-skis. I am myself when surrounded by five-hundred jet-skis.
Did you know the original name for ‘Alka Seltzer’ was ‘Alker Seltza’?
Plunk,
J.R.
@saymoco
Don’t vote. Don’t even think about voting. The elections over. You’re wasting your time. I don’t even know where you’d do it. The deadlines are passed. We have a winner. Don’t be silly and vote.
The Morning Corporation **** 